VOA Special English -  听写稿：AMERICAN STORIES - Sucker - 05/17/2008

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Now the Special English program, American Stories.

Our story today is called Sucker, It was written by Carlson Mar Carlos. Here is Shep O'Neal with the story.

I have not given much thought to girls until I knew May Bell. She sat next to me in general science class that was when I first began to notice her. Her hair was the brightest yellow I ever saw. Her finger nails were pointed and painted shining red. During class, I used to watch May Bell nearly all the time. I stopped only when I saw she was going to look my way or when the teacher called on me. I could not keep my eyes off her hands for one thing. They were very little and white except for that red stuff. It is impossible to describe May Bell. All the boys were crazy about her. She did not even notice me. For one thing, she was almost 2 years older than I was. Between classes, I used to try and pass very close to her in the halls, but she would not even smile at me or like to do was sit and looked at her in class. Sometimes, I felt that the whole room could hear my heart beating. At night in bed I would think about May Bell, often, this would keep me from sleeping until 1 or 2 o'clock in the morning. Sometimes, my cousin Sucker who slept in the same bed with me would wake up. He had asked me why I couldn't get to sleep. I told him to shut his mouth. I suppose I was unpleasant to him lots of times. I wanted to be cruel to somebody just as May Bell was cruel by not noticing me. Sucker was 4 years younger than I was. It was easy to be cruel to him. It always tell by Sucker's face when his feelings were hurt. I don't remember all the ugly things I said to him because even when I was saying them, my mind was on May Bell. This went on for nearly three mouths. And then somehow she began to change, in the halls, she would speak to me. Every morning, she copied my homework. At lunch time, once I danced with her in the gym. One afternoon, I worked up enough courage to go to her house with a carton of cigarettes. I knew she smoked in the girls' basement and sometimes outside of the school. I came home late. Sucker was already asleep. I felt too happy and excited to go to sleep. I lay awake thinking about May Bell a long time, then I dreamed about her and it seemed I kissed her. It was surprised to wake up and sit in the dark. I lay still and a little while passed before I came to understood where I was. Sucker's voice was a shock to me. “Pitt?” I did not answer or even move. “You do like me, don't you? Like a brother, don't you, Pitt?” “Sure.” I said. I was riding away again yet my mind seemed stopped in a strange way. There was this happiness about May Bell and all that.

At the same time, something about Sucker and his voice when he said these things made me take notice. It was like I never really thought about Sucker until then.

I guess I had always been cruel to him. One night, a few weeks before, I'd heard him crying in the dark. He said he had lost a boy's bb gun and was scared to let anybody know. He wanted me to tell him what to do. I was sleepy and tried to make him keep quiet. When he wouldn't, I kicked at him. It seemed to me he had always been alone some kid. Now I felt bad. It seemed to me suddenly that I did like him more than anybody else I knew, more than any other boy, more than my sisters, more even in the way than May Bell. During the next couple of weeks, I saw a lot of May Bell. She acted though she really cared for me a little. I felt so good. I didn't know what to do with myself. I guessed things went on like this for about a month or six weeks. I felt so good I couldn't sit down to study and put my mind on anything. I wanted to be friendly to everybody. Then something happened between May Bell and me. I never have been able to understand just what it was. She did not say glad to see me any more. Often, she went out riding with this fellow on a football team who owed a small yellow car. The roster was the color of her hair.

After school, she would ride off with him, laughing and looking into his face.

I couldn't think of anything to do about it. She was on my mind all day and night. When I did get a chance to go out with her, she was sleepy and didn't seem to notice me. At first, I was so worried that I just forgot about Sucker. Then later he began to get on my nerves. He was always hanging around when I was getting back from high school. Always looking at me as if he had something to say.

May Bell still rode around with the fellow in the yellow car. Sometimes she smiled at me and sometimes not. Every afternoon, I went from one place to another where I saw she would be, the more ashamed I felt for making her full of myself, the more I ran after her. All the while, Sucker kept getting on my nerves, he would look at me as though he thought of blaming me something.

He was growing fast, for some reason, he began to have problems. He started to stutter when speaking. He had bad dreams at night.

Then May Bell and I broke up. I met her going to the drug store and asked if I could see her. She said No. I answered unpleasantly. She said she was sick and tired of my being around and she had never cared about me.

I walked home very slowly. For several afternoons I stayed in my room by myself. I didn't want to go anywhere or talk to any one. When Sucker would come in and looked at me thought of funny.

I would shout at him “Get out”. I didn't want to think of May Bell. I sat at my desk reading or making litter things. It seemed to me that I was putting her out of my mind pretty well. But it can help what happens to you at night. A few nights after May Bell said those words to me, I dreamed about her again like the first time. I was squeezing Sucker's arms so tight. I woke up. He reached for my hand. “Pitt, what's the matter with you?” All of sudden I felt so mad that my throat choked. I remembered everything May Bell had done to me. It seemed to me for a second that nobody would ever like me but a fool somebody like Sucker.

“Why is it we are friends like we were before? Why…”

Shut trap.

I threw off the cover and got up, then turned on the light. He sat in the middle of the bed, his eyes blinking and scared. There was something in me and I couldn't help myself. I don't think anybody gets that mad but once. Words came without me knowing what it would be.

“Why are we friends because she is dumbest snoy I ever saw. Why do you always hang around me? Don't you know when you are not wanted? No, you don't know when you are not wanted. You are just to damn, just like your name. A damn sucker.”

Something had exploded inside me. I turned off the light and sat down in the chair by the window. My legs were shaking. I was so tired I couldn't cry

The room was cold and dark. I sat for a long time. After a while, I heard Sucker lie down.

I was not mad any more only tired. It seemed terrible to me that I had talked like that to a kid only twelve. Sucker was gone when I wake up in the next day. Later when I wanted to apologize and asked his forgiveness, he looked at me in a new hard way so I couldn't say a word. In the following month, Sucker grew faster than any boy I ever saw. He was almost as tall as I was. His bone got bigger and heavier. Most of time now he stays by himself. We never speak except when we have to before the family. I can't even call him Sucker any more and call him by his real name, Richard. There seems to be nothing I can do to make things right. I have sometimes thought it would help if we could have it out of a big fight, but I can't fight with him because he is 4 years younger. And another thing, sometimes, this look in his eyes makes me almost believe that if Sucker would kill me, he would.

You have heard the story, Sucker written by Carlson Mar Carls. It was published in 1965 by Banton Books in ten modern American short stories. Your storyteller was Shep O'Neal.

The producer was Lawan Davis. This story was copyrighted. All rights reserved. For VOA Special English, this is Shirley Griffith.