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楼主:Rayman 日期: 回贴:0 浏览:

An English Joke with incomplete translation

SIPPING VODKA

This is too funny – I still have tears in my eyes!

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
一个新人牧师在他的第一次布道时是那么的紧张以致他几乎说不出话来。
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
布道之后他询问大主教他表现得怎样。
The monsignor replied,” When I am worried about getting nervous
大主教回答说:“当我担心在讲道坛上造成紧张的时候,
On the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass.
我会在水杯旁边放一杯伏特加。
If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.”
如果我开始感到紧张的话,就吸一口。”
So next Sunday he took the monsignor’s advice.
因此在下个星期天他采纳了大主教的建议。
At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.
在刚开始布道的时候,他犯紧张了,于是就喝了一口。
He proceeded to talk up a storm.
接着他如狂风暴雨般大谈特谈了一通。
Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:
当布道后回到办公室的时候,他在门上发现了以下的便条:
1)Sip the vodka, don’t gulp.
吸一小口伏特加,不要用吞。
2)There are 10 commandments, not 12.
是十诫,不是十二。
3)There are 12 disciples, not 10.
是12门徒,不是10。
4)Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
耶稣是献身了,不是便秘了。
5)Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
雅各布担保了他的驴子,他并没有打赌他的屁股。
6)We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
我们不把耶稣基督说成“the late J.C”。
7)The father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook.
圣父、圣子和圣灵不是说成爸爸,儿子和鬼魂。
8)David slew Goliath, he did not kick the s*** out of him.
大卫杀死了巨人歌利亚,而不是 ( 求全 )。
9)When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don’t say he was stoned off his ass.
当大卫被石头打中从他的驴子上掉了下来,不要说 ( 求译 )。
10)We do not refer to the cross as the “Big T”.
我们不把十字架说成“大T”。
11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said,” take this and eat it for it is my body.” He did not say “Eat me”.
当耶稣在最后的晚餐上撕开了面包,他说:“拿去吃了,因为它就是我的身躯。” 他没有说“吃掉我吧”。
12)The Virgin Mary is not called “Mary with the Cherry”.
圣母玛利亚不是叫做“有处女膜的玛利亚”。
13)The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.
所被推崇的感恩祈祷不是:Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub ( 幼虫,食物 ), Yeah God.(应是AMON阿门)
14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter’s not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy’s.( 求译 )

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