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Yeonmi Park:I am a North Korean defector 我是朝鲜叛逃者

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本篇报道由UNSV@英语学习频道 译自外媒报道,转载请注明本译文链接。

I lived in North Korea for the first 15 years of my life, believing Kim Jong-il was a god. I never doubted it because I didn't know anything else. I could not even imagine life outside of the regime.

我在15岁之前,一直在朝鲜生活,相信金正日是一位神。因为对外界的无知,我对此从未有过怀疑。我甚至不能想象这个政权之外的生活。

It was like living in hell. There were constant power outages, so everything was dark. There was no transportation – everyone had to walk everywhere. It was very dirty and no one could eat anything.

那里长期停电,一切都是黑暗的,就像生活在地狱。那里没有交通,到任何地方都必须走路。那里非常肮脏,没有人可以吃任何东西。

It was not the right conditions for human life, but you couldn't think about it, let alone complain about it. Even though you were suffering, you had to worship the regime every day.

人类生存的环境不应该是这样的,但你不能多想,更不能抱怨。即便你在受苦,也必须每天敬拜这个政权。

I had to be careful of my thoughts because I believed Kim Jong-il could read my mind. Every couple of days someone would disappear. A classmate's mother was punished in a public execution that I was made to attend. I had no choice – there were spies in the neighbourhood.

我不敢有不好的想法,因为相信金正日拥有读心术。每隔几天就会有人消失。我被安排参加过一次公开处决,有个同学的母亲被惩处。周围有密探,我别无选择。

My father worked for the government, so for a while things were relatively OK for me compared with some others in North Korea. But my father was accused of doing something wrong and jailed for three years. He being guilty made me guilty too, so whatever future I had in North Korea completely disappeared. I could no longer go to university, and my family was forced to move out of Pyongyang to the countryside on the border close to China.

我父亲曾在政府工作,所以曾经有一阵子,跟朝鲜的其他人相比,我的处境还算好的。但我父亲因被判有罪入狱三年。父亲有罪,我就同样有罪。我在朝鲜彻底没有了未来。我再也不能上大学,我的家人被迫从平壤搬到靠近中国边境的农村。

After a few years, my father became very sick with cancer and he came out of jail for treatment. During this time, we decided to leave North Korea.

几年之后,我父亲因为得了癌症,病情严重,出狱接受治疗。在这段时间,我们决定离开朝鲜。

We had to cross a frozen river in the middle of winter to sneak across the border into China. I was very scared – not of being caught but of being shot. If they see someone escaping, they don't ask, they just shoot them.

我们不得不在严冬涉水穿过冰冷的河流,偷偷越过边境潜入中国。我非常害怕,不是怕被抓,而是怕被射杀。如果他们看到有人逃跑,不会做任何盘问,开枪就射。

North Korean refugees are not recognised in China, so we had to be careful there. My parents brought a small amount of money with them, and my mother got a job washing dishes. I did not know any Chinese and couldn't say anything in Korean in case I was deported, so I had to pretend I could not speak.

中国不认朝鲜难民,所以我们在这里必须非常小心。我父母随身带来一点点钱,母亲找到一份洗盘子的工作。我不懂任何中文,又不敢说朝鲜语,因为怕被驱逐出境。所以我只好装哑巴。

I hid in the apartment most of the time. If I saw a policeman, I would run. I could not take a train because they would do certification checks. It was really miserable.

我大部分时间都躲在公寓里。如果看到警察,我就会跑开。我不能坐火车,因为他们会查身份证。真是苦不堪言。

My father died of cancer in that first year and soon we had used all of our money. Around this time we met some South Korean missionaries. They said we could finally be free if we could make it to South Korea.

逃出来后的第一年,我的父亲就因为癌症去世,我们很快就花光了所有的钱。大约在那个时候,我们遇到了几个韩国传教士。他们说,如果我们能去韩国就能获得最终的自由。

We didn't want to live in China without my father, but we didn't have any money to pay for disguises to get us into South Korea, so we bought a compass and we walked across the border between China and Mongolia through the desert in winter. Once in Mongolia, we were protected and some soldiers contacted South Korea where we were accepted as refugees.

没有了父亲,我们不想留在中国。但我们没钱买物品乔装打扮进入韩国。所以我们买了一个指南针,在冬天徒步穿越中国和外蒙古之间的边界沙漠地带。一进入蒙古,我们就受到保护,一些士兵跟能够接受我们难民身份的韩国联系。

This whole time, I was still so brainwashed that I thought Kim Jong-il could read my mind from afar. Even though I had escaped, I wouldn't let myself think anything negative about the regime.

在这整个过程中,因为曾被严重洗脑,我认为金正日能够远程读到我的心思。所以虽然逃脱,依然不敢让自己想任何关于这个政权的负面事情。

When we arrived in South Korea they took us to an Education Centre for several months. I learned that Kim Jong-il was a dictator, but I was still confused when I left – it wasn't enough time to fully change my mind.

我们到了韩国之后,被带到一个教育中心学习了几个月。我了解到,金正日是个独裁者。但在离开的时候,我仍然感到困惑,这么短的时间还不足以彻底改变我的思想。

After I came out of the centre, I met new people, started to study using the internet, and read lots of books. I found out about socialism, communism and capitalism. I learned new things and finally saw the truth.

离开教育中心后,我遇到一些新人,开始使用互联网来学习,阅读大量书籍。我搞清楚了社会主义、共产主义和资本主义。我学到新东西,最终看到了真相。

I realised that everything I thought was a lie. I had not been a real person – I was created for the regime to work for them. If they ordered us to die, I would've died for them. I wasn't a human – I was something else. I certainly wasn't treated like one. I knew nothing of freedom. It took about three years to fully get over the brainwashing.

我意识到,我所想的那一切都只是一个谎言。我过去并不是一个真正的人,我只是为那个政权而生,为那个政权卖命。如果他们命令我们去死,我们就会去死。我以前根本不能算作是人,我只是一样东西。我当然不会被当作一个人看。我对自由一无所知。我花了大约三年时间才完全克服了洗脑。

My mother took longer than me. When Kim Jong-il died she couldn't believe it. We were in South Korea by then and she said, "he can't die because he's not a human, he's a god!" It was very hard for us to comprehend that he was just a human, but I helped my mother see the truth.

我母亲花的时间比我更长。金正日死的时候,她根本无法相信。我们当时在韩国,她说,“他不会死,因为他不是人,他是神!”对我们而言,要去理解他只是一个普通人,这是非常困难的事。但我帮助母亲看到了真相。

I'm now studying at university, learning about international relations and I feel like a different person. When I was in North Korea, no one asked me "what do you think?" "What do you want to be in future?" "What do you dream?" I now have free will.

我现在在上大学,修读国际关系。我觉得自己像变了个人。当我在朝鲜的时候,没人会问我“你怎么想?”“你未来想成为什么样的人?”“你有什么梦想?”现在,我拥有自由意志。

When I first got to South Korea, I could not understand why my opinion was so important. Previously, my destiny was chosen for me. But I feel like I'm the master of my life – I'm living now.

第一次到韩国时,我不能理解为什么我的意见非常重要。此前,我的命运被人选定。但现在,我觉得自己是生活的主人,现在才叫过生活。

My older sister made it out recently and has just come out of the Education Centre. I feel like I've got almost everything, because my family is the most important thing to me.

我姐姐最近也逃了出来,刚刚离开教育中心。我觉得我已经得到了几乎一切,因为对我而言,家庭是最重要。

But all my other relatives are still in North Korea. They are too afraid to escape and I worry about them – not just because I'm from North Korea, but just as a human. I now know that humans have rights and I want to help them. That is my dream.

但我的所有其他亲属仍在朝鲜。他们太过害怕而不敢逃跑。我很担心他们,不只是因为我来自朝鲜,也是因为人性。我现在知道,人类拥有权利,我想帮助他们。这是我的梦想。

网友的学习评论(2条):
作者:Maggie
pity
作者:Louis
unbelievable!
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